Ok...so now I am eating Tums by the handful...but I am seeing things come together...flights from here to there to yonder have all been scheduled...rides from here to the first airport taken care of...motel to pick hubby up and a place to leave the vehicle taken care of...Gotcha Outfits washed/dried and packed...court outfit in carryon...and a pocket book I can gray tape to my body...I have packed everything, but I think I am going to redo in the morning to see if I can't get rid of some things...I have a ton of donations, but I am wondering...is it better just to give them a little something once we see what they need.
This will be short tonight...I am going to bed early and pray the Rosary...I need the calmness of my prayers...
Praying for the calm...for all of us...
Good night...
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Monday, October 25, 2010
Monday before...
I just want you all to know...there is NO other feeling like this in the world! You know..I thought the same thing when I was pregnant...no other feeling like it...I honestly believe it's one of those feelings unless you have experienced it...NO you don't know what I am talking about!
This week...starting last night...I have had this uncontrollable anxiety. I am so nervous/scared/etc about leaving my 3 fantastic kids here...alone...I know they will be with Grandma/Grandpa...but not with Momma and Daddy! I have not left them alone...forever! I was almost getting ok with leaving them while hubby and I went out to dinner, but not a movie...When I was in massage school, I had to leave them on the weekends...I stressed so bad over that...thinking am I a worthless Mother because I am leaving them with different people to care for them while I am at school? I am feeling the same thing now...am I a terrible Mother because I am leaving them to get two more kids! However, my daughter put it straight...MOM, you need to get over it and quit stressing! We will be fine! Now, hurry up and bring my sisters home! So with that...I am going to try to destress...
I have packed and repacked 8 times now...I am pretty sure I am forgetting a ton, but I am packing a ton...so I should be ok. So, with that...I am going to go gather paperwork and pack it...everything else is packed. I can enjoy my kids! I am so ready for Friday to be here. If I can get started, I think I will be ok.
Pray for patience and clarity...so I will be able to see the end of the road...and the treasures that await.
This week...starting last night...I have had this uncontrollable anxiety. I am so nervous/scared/etc about leaving my 3 fantastic kids here...alone...I know they will be with Grandma/Grandpa...but not with Momma and Daddy! I have not left them alone...forever! I was almost getting ok with leaving them while hubby and I went out to dinner, but not a movie...When I was in massage school, I had to leave them on the weekends...I stressed so bad over that...thinking am I a worthless Mother because I am leaving them with different people to care for them while I am at school? I am feeling the same thing now...am I a terrible Mother because I am leaving them to get two more kids! However, my daughter put it straight...MOM, you need to get over it and quit stressing! We will be fine! Now, hurry up and bring my sisters home! So with that...I am going to try to destress...
I have packed and repacked 8 times now...I am pretty sure I am forgetting a ton, but I am packing a ton...so I should be ok. So, with that...I am going to go gather paperwork and pack it...everything else is packed. I can enjoy my kids! I am so ready for Friday to be here. If I can get started, I think I will be ok.
Pray for patience and clarity...so I will be able to see the end of the road...and the treasures that await.
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Update on us
Good Sunday Morning! Well, it has been a while since my last post...so, to fill you in...
We have been so busy with paperwork and trying to get everything together for our upcoming "trip". However, during this process...the day before my birthday...my uncle died. This was very heartbreaking to my entire family. Little did I know what was to come...After thinking long and hard, I decided not to go for the memorial service. I felt horrible for not going!
My birthday was there and gone...without notice...hubby still gone...but life goes on...Then, October rolls around...All is well in the world or so one would think! 10-10-10....My grandpa died...that took my heart all the way out...and a lot of my soul...during this time I had a LOT to focus on...I saw how my Mom reacted...my Uncle...and...my Granny. I know, now, I have to change several things in my life. My Dad is gone...so that is part of my past...but I see how my Granny reacted...and how "lost" she seemed. I saw how my aunt was reacting...it was like reliving her husbands service...but somehow, she was fantastic...my aunt talked to me about how I was living my life. How many friends/girlfriends, clubs, groups...what were the things I am involved with/in? She advised...before it's too late...branch out...get involved...take care of myself...or I will not be able to take care of others...This hit me like a ton of brink! So...as with all advise...I tucked it in the back of my mind for further use...
After my Papa's funeral, we headed home...This was Thursday...we were on our way home...around lunchtime we get a phone call...YEAH!!! Our SDA date is NOV 1!!! I can not believe it...20 minutes later...we get another call...my MIL has had a stroke...FIL is very upset understandably! Then, I find out my precious Anne Marie went to be with Jesus...even though she wasn't mine...she had a special place in my heart! So, we finally get home and sleep for a few hours, then head to the hospital...Remarkably she is doing great! She does have some issues, but with therapy...all will be well...we leave the hospital...go to eat...immediately after lunch...I get OMG sick! Sick all night...get up Saturday morning...SICK! Had some other things going on...hubby says...that's it...we are going to ER...they can't get an iv started, so they stick my foot...22g butterfly in the foot! I get shipped to another hospital...ICU team couldn't get an iv started, still running fluids through my foot...Sunday they finally get a team from "specials" to start an iv in my upper arm using an ultra sound to get the vein! Upped my fluids and I started feeling better...I get out Monday morning...MIL also discharged...the whole next week I sleep pretty much all the time...which brings us to today...Today, I am packing...I am just biting the bullet and getting it done! That way I can spend quality time with my kids! I am going to make this a great week for them. I have to get things together for them to make it easier when we are gone...I am so excited about our trip and bringing our girls home! Our adventure starts Friday...the first time I have left my kids for any length of time...Pray for me and them! More later...
We have been so busy with paperwork and trying to get everything together for our upcoming "trip". However, during this process...the day before my birthday...my uncle died. This was very heartbreaking to my entire family. Little did I know what was to come...After thinking long and hard, I decided not to go for the memorial service. I felt horrible for not going!
My birthday was there and gone...without notice...hubby still gone...but life goes on...Then, October rolls around...All is well in the world or so one would think! 10-10-10....My grandpa died...that took my heart all the way out...and a lot of my soul...during this time I had a LOT to focus on...I saw how my Mom reacted...my Uncle...and...my Granny. I know, now, I have to change several things in my life. My Dad is gone...so that is part of my past...but I see how my Granny reacted...and how "lost" she seemed. I saw how my aunt was reacting...it was like reliving her husbands service...but somehow, she was fantastic...my aunt talked to me about how I was living my life. How many friends/girlfriends, clubs, groups...what were the things I am involved with/in? She advised...before it's too late...branch out...get involved...take care of myself...or I will not be able to take care of others...This hit me like a ton of brink! So...as with all advise...I tucked it in the back of my mind for further use...
After my Papa's funeral, we headed home...This was Thursday...we were on our way home...around lunchtime we get a phone call...YEAH!!! Our SDA date is NOV 1!!! I can not believe it...20 minutes later...we get another call...my MIL has had a stroke...FIL is very upset understandably! Then, I find out my precious Anne Marie went to be with Jesus...even though she wasn't mine...she had a special place in my heart! So, we finally get home and sleep for a few hours, then head to the hospital...Remarkably she is doing great! She does have some issues, but with therapy...all will be well...we leave the hospital...go to eat...immediately after lunch...I get OMG sick! Sick all night...get up Saturday morning...SICK! Had some other things going on...hubby says...that's it...we are going to ER...they can't get an iv started, so they stick my foot...22g butterfly in the foot! I get shipped to another hospital...ICU team couldn't get an iv started, still running fluids through my foot...Sunday they finally get a team from "specials" to start an iv in my upper arm using an ultra sound to get the vein! Upped my fluids and I started feeling better...I get out Monday morning...MIL also discharged...the whole next week I sleep pretty much all the time...which brings us to today...Today, I am packing...I am just biting the bullet and getting it done! That way I can spend quality time with my kids! I am going to make this a great week for them. I have to get things together for them to make it easier when we are gone...I am so excited about our trip and bringing our girls home! Our adventure starts Friday...the first time I have left my kids for any length of time...Pray for me and them! More later...
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